When Anna was going through her own scaled-down version of the "Terrible Two's," other mothers would often warn: "But wait until she hits the Threes."  So we got through the Two's unscathed, even with the addition of a little sister, and entered into what was, for awhile, the Lovely Threes. And then, almost imperceptibly, we noticed something shifting around Three and a Half. Her intensity and penchant toward the dramatic has increased astronomically. Her need for mama to hold her "RIGHT NOW" is as automatic and as necessary as her need for oxygen. And her desire to do everything "BY MYSELF" now borders on preschool-aged defiance and she will struggle endlessly, and alone, until she accomplishes what she has set out to do. 

This is her work, I know. This is what she must go through during this phase of development, and I admire her perseverance.  

But there are moments, lovely instances of letting it all go, where she unselfconsciously allows the goofiness to bubble through.

I am a blog-reader, I admit. Most of the blogs in my queue are written by other mothers detailing the lives of their children. Some of these mothers choose to write about the nitty-gritty details of raising children and I simply relish their honesty.  Often I will let out a deep breath (a breath that I did not even know I was holding) when I read about a mother who, like me, adores her children with every cell in her body, but in a moment of weakness, a moment when both kids are yelling or crying and both want her to hold them and the dog is barking and the husband is doing the dishes that she feels like she should be doing, she momentarily freaks out. She yells. Or feels like she has failed. Or thinks about getting in the car and driving away for a little bit. These are the blogs I love to read, because mothering tiny little people is lovely and wonderful and  hard.  

 Then there are the blogs written by the "perfect" mothers. These are the mothers who display gorgeous photographs of their crafts on their blogs, complicated crafts that they do with their children underfoot which still manage to come out perfectly. These are the mothers who don't talk about the laundry that has piled up, or about the shirts they wear that always have food on the shoulder from the baby wiping her mouth in the same spot. But I do love reading these blogs too, because I'm a sucker for the images of the crafty mama knitting by candlelight nearby the woodstove while the baby sleeps on her lap. I love the feeling of coziness I get when I see the photos of these children dressed in mama's handmade sweaters or handsewn pants, feeding the chickens or trekking through the snow on a nature-walk.

I like learning and reading about how other families raise and love their babies (or at least what they want to show us of the lovely but messy process).  I read the blogs and feel like I'm a part of something bigger than myself, part of this deep commitment we all have called mothering, and I feel the connection between us, between the perfect and not-so-perfect mothers. And truly, we're all the same, for it's the love of our children that is the blood that binds us together.

The snow is here! We had our first snowstorm of the season last Tuesday, and it lasted into Wednesday afternoon. About 15 inches fell during that time, and even though we did not build a snowman or even go sledding, we did bundle up the girls for a walk down our street once the snow let up. Little Eliza wore her snow pants and snow boots for the first time but was more comfortable being wrapped in her mama's arms than actually walking in the snow. Anna, however, loves the snow. She literally throws herself into the packed snow banks, giggling with delight and disbelief.

 

After months of watching Anna get ready for preschool, Eliza now wants to do the same thing. . .

So proud of herself!

Where's my baby and who put this sweet toddler in her place?

(For Mimi, who wanted to see these photos)

This is often how the kids amuse themselves while we're prepping for dinner:

And tonight we await a snowstorm. Hopefully we can make a snowman and possibly do some sledding tomorrow. Stay tuned. . .

I had chosen other photos and created a different posting for tonight. The photos were silly ones of the girls hiding in the kitchen cabinets while we made dinner. But even after I pressed "publish post," I kept thinking of the following photos, and how these were the ones that touched my heart. These are the ones I will share with you tonight. 

When I look at Eliza's expression, it confirms to me why I always wanted to have two children. They share something that no other relationship can ever duplicate. They are sisters.  How lucky they are to have each other in their life, their world, now and for the rest of their lives.

{this moment}

{this moment} is a Friday ritual inspired by Soule Mama.
A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

I woke up this morning feeling like our day was doomed. Eliza is sick yet again, and when this child gets a cold, she doesn't just get a runny nose. She was up all night, needing to be held upright as she coughed and coughed. Her eyes run as well as her nose. She doesn't want to eat. And she just wants mama. So this is where we were at six am, after a very bad night:

Yep, not good. The three of us (Anna doesn't have nursery school on Wednesdays) took it minute by minute and then hour by hour. Eliza took a couple of very short naps, refused most food, and basically was miserable. Anna has a slight cold too, but it has only manifested as night-time coughing. But because Eliza is sick, Anna also would like attention. So all morning, it was "I'm sick, I need crackers. . . I'm sick, I need my tylenol. . . I'm sick, I want to watch Super Why. . ." Needless to say, I was in my pajamas until one o'clock, dealing with these two needy girls. 

And then, I had had enough. Eliza didn't want to nap anymore, Anna's demands were growing, and my ears were hot.  We had to get out of the house. I bundled them up and drove this sorry lot to the bookstore, knowing I had a gift card and would buy Anna a new audio book for the car.

As soon as we found the bright, spacious children's section, Anna shed her sickly disguise and pretended she was in the library, "checking out" the books to read on the stage reserved for storytime and playing with the stuffed animals. Eliza, too, gained some strength in this new environment and smiled for the customers walking past, as they smiled at her toddling around.

After deciding upon Frog and Toad, I told Anna about the cafe inside the bookstore, and she exuberantly made her way through the aisles of books until she came across her favorite thing: baked goods. Together we picked out a sinfully delicious Blondie brownie with mini "round-rounds" (m&m's) and I ordered some necessary caffeine. Eliza declined the brownie, but liked calling out "Dada!" to every male who walked by. 

While we sat, I noticed for the first time that the heels of my 12-year-old Dansko clogs were literally gone. It looked like an animal had chewed them away. I knew I had a hefty gift card to the Mountain Goat, and told Anna we were going to the shoe store after this. She cheered.

Bundling up again, I fastened the kids into the car, slid the new Frog and Toad cd into the cd player, and we drove toward one of my favorite stores right on Main Street in our town, where I ended up buying a new pair of shiny black clogs. While there, I plopped a winter hat on Anna's head, asked her if she liked it, and she lifted her fist into the air and shrieked "we'll take it!" 

Thanks to hoarding my gift cards, we ended up having a worthwhile day after all. Everyone needed to get out of the house and the fresh air was good for Eliza. 

Gotta love Frog and Toad.

Old Danskos, which Anna gleefully threw in the trash.

New Danskos.

New hat!

I had to post a second photo of her in her new hat because she's ridiculously cute.

Even Eliza ended up having a good day.

Love those gift cards!

Anyone see a pattern here?

Much to our amusement, our little bunny really likes to climb into (or be put into) small, cozy places.  Often she wants Anna to push her around while she's in the white bassinet or the red picnic basket. The cradle that she is sitting in with her best buddy Harper was made over 50 years ago by my grandfather for my mother when she was a little girl. It's still being put to good use after all these years. 

Sometimes I get a smile. . .

And sometimes I don't. . .

New Year's Eve

Anna went to 2 (yes, that's right, 2!) holiday parties yesterday. The first party was at Mrs. Neal's house. She invited Anna over along with her granddaughters. Anna said was the party was ". . .great, but Susy (the cat) didn't like many children around."  Anna had fun playing with the grandgirls and eating mini-hotdogs, chips, and strawberry ice-cream. Yum.

Getting ready to head over there. She was so excited and really wanted to bring a toy (Henry the Gnome) and her backpack.

The second party was at the Kelly's, and luckily we were invited too!  Fun times for all. . .

Harper and Eliza, feeling the holiday spirit with their Mardi Gras beads

For these girls to get Capri Suns, you can bet that there's something special going on!

We feasted on baked ribs, shrimp and broccoli pasta, and pecan pie with home-made whipped cream for dessert. The big girls had a super time together (AKA destroyed the house) and the little girls had fun too. The crazy thing was that we discovered that Anna and Danielle used to live in the same tiny attic apartment that we lived in years ago in Hadley! Who'd of guessed that 183 Bay Road would be a pivotal place in not only our relationship, but theirs too?! Our families' paths were clearly destined to cross.

And finally the countdown (at 6 pm)! 10. . 9. . 8. . 7. . 6. . 5. . 4. . 3. . 2. . 1. . HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Here's to 2011, a new year filled with possibilities.  We jam-packed as much as we could have into 2010 and had a blast. Our family is truly blessed.